I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
