Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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