i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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