guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
