Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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