I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
