he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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