So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
