talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
