I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
