WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
