I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
