Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
