Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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