We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
