He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
