Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
