I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You were trust falling into bushes
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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