You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
