i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
