So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
