um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
