Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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