She said her name was "party"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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