it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
