so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
