I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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