angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
