come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
