Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
