Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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