Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I enjoy the company of your penis
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize