Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
