so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Damn victory sex feels great
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
