well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
