just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
my poor anus
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
