just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
