yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
