Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
