Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
