I wish i was in the wii world.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
