Your face is a jimmy john
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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