At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
