Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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