I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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