is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
