the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
