but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Please, let me fuck your mom
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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