I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
barbara walters just said penis...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i think my cat just said my name.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How naked do you want me to be?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
