Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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