Heybabeimwearingurpanties
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
