I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He passed out mid-signature
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
