i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize