Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
