Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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