we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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